Ladies, do you ever feel like when you're just trying to feel the vibe and have a light hearted dating type of situationship that eventually leads to a romantic relationship, that the other person involved is applying too much pressure? There are heterosexual women in the world that are laid back and just want to have a good time in courtship; no expensive dates, no crazy expectations, this includes some women in the world that are still virgins or choosing to be celibate. In my opinion, this is a woman that is truly trying to test the waters and feel the vibe of the man that she is knowing wants to also vibe into a romantic relationship. The intention is known, but there is no expectation. Makes sense? Let me explain.
At a certain age (18-99), you should be telling anyone you are dealing with in a non-platonic manner what your intentions are, straight up. If it's sex, let him or her know so no one will waste the other persons time. If it's just fun, with no real commitment, let that person know. Why not? What is the problem with transparency? What is the problem with receiving (see mi last blog) transparency? Perhaps it's because people love avoiding the truth and creating things that they don't even truly believe they can receive, so they began to apply unwanted and unnecessary pressure, versus just going with the flow and being happy in it or realizing that it isn't exactly the flow he or she wants and positively go in another direction.
I've had conversations with ladies that are of the laid back variety and when they go into a friendship/courtship/dating situation with those very details described above, they receive in return, a plethora of pressure from the opposite sex. It's crazy. These women didn't adjust themselves with the idea that this personality type is what men want, that's just the type of women they are or became because of their own prerogative.
The type of pressure these women receive from men is pressure to jump into a relationship after a short amount of time for unknown reasons or maybe a few obvious ones and/or pressure to have sex when the man feels entitled to it. Obviously, that's what the woman wants, but sometimes it can feel like it's a pressure commitment versus two people just wanting to be together when the person isn't quite ready, but is definitely feeling the vibe. You can feel the vibe and be really diggin' a person and still not want to jump into a commitment immediately.
Why is it okay for men to apply pressure? If a woman tried to do the exact same thing after 3 weeks, do you think a man would be ok with that even if they did inevitably want a commited relate-tionship? Negative. I don't believe they would be okay with that if the roles were reversed and they have been. It's like everything has to be based around when the man feels comfortable or when he has reached a level of maturity to receive all that he wants from a woman. If the womans mindset is patience and just going with the flow, men do not care, but when women are in the I expect to be married in two years mindset, men suffer from claustrophobia. I asked my friend the other day, if she believes in love at first sight or immediately hitting it off with someone, like how some women can just hit it off with certain women and become forever friends. To answer my own question, I do believe in love at first sight and I also believe in just enjoying each other without the expectation of popular societies ideas of when commitment and sex should happen or feeling in a hurry. I don't event think people truly understand the beauty and power of two perfectly aligned individuals. That type of alignment produces some of the most beautiful relate-tionships and some of the most mind blowing love making.
With Love...